Every once in a while, at Only Positive News, we toss out a little philosophy to our readers, amidst all the wonderful and inspiring true stories that abound everyday.

Today, I wanted to address the lemonade side of your most sour lemon story. This is not an easy task. Heck, it’s not even a task. Its more of a practice. Think of it as increasing your positivity skills or building your positivity muscles.

Let’s take a bad situation you currently find yourself in. Maybe its an unhappy relationship or a toxic work situation or a loss of someone dear. Maybe its troubling finances or strained family situations or a chronic illness.

First off, acknowledge that your upset about it. Many New Age philosophies don’t seem to allow for any negativity, which seems utterly unrealistic. It’s alright to be upset, angry, hurt. Sit with those feelings before you go any further. Grieve if you need to. Cry if you can (many people have lost the ability to purge their feelings through tears, which is a real tragedy, since its so deeply therapeutic.)

Then look at the situation from a different angle, a different “lens.” Has there been any good that has come out of the situation? Don’t just say no because that seems unimaginable! Open up. Perhaps you’ve learned some new coping skills. Maybe you became closer to a friend because you allowed yourself to share your situation (which is a real honor to a good friend.) Maybe you’ve become a little more spiritual, because you needed some faith and hope.

This is not easy. Bad things happen and bad things hurt. Life can be painfully unfair. And some New Age philosophies can make you want to scream because they ring so horribly false. But grieving and seeing a little golden thread in a seemingly black and bleak situation can be a lesson learned. It helps you integrate the situation, not run or hide from it.

Some day, in years to come, you will be wrestling with the great

temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the

real struggle is here, now, in these quiet weeks. Now it is being

decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you

shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer. Character cannot be made

except by a steady, long continued process.

– Phillips Brooks (1835-1893) American Bishop